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This is where I vent and express how I feel. + cool stuff I find.
As I have previously stated in my last post of different paradigms, I have further discussed this with the person I am dealing with who introduced me to it.
What he told me was to not put all my emotions into things and that we should keep or maintain a balance of logic and emotion. Though that is logically and theoretically true, as a human being, that certainly does not hold right in my gut.
We then further dissected the idea of this transition zone in which my paradigm is not use to. He stated that I shouldn’t put all my emotions and expectations in each other. I agree that this is still early in the game and i shouldn’t put everything into someone especially expectations BUT i think there are a few expectations that we should keep…..which is being exclusive.
Let me explain what i feel like as a base of a relationship whether it is super serious or just starting also not naming boyfriends or girlfriends but there needs to be a TRUST. If one was to have intimate experiences with someone who is a potential, that trust needs to build. If by initially stating that it is ok for each other to see other people, no matter what trust is built during the time spent with each other, it is dissipated by the concrete statement of it “being ok to see other people” as if one is just one item of the others sexual buffet. Feeling secure and having exclusivity i think is really important.
In my mind, I am human, my emotion is not contained in a syringe where I am able to release and take in accurate amounts of emotion; I see emotions as peeing; one cannot pee a little bit and hold it (you can do this for a little while but your penis will hurt I’m sure), when one pees he needs to pee it all out maybe slowly but definitely surely.
I further challenged him in asking about the details about the whole “open to seeing other people”. As previously stated, I took it as allowed to have sex or make out with people. He responded by saying that it’s not like that; he also said that he is not doing that and further reinforced his statement saying that he was spending his Friday night with me and not out in a club meeting other people. ( a lightbulb lit up in my mind as this didn’t occur to me).
On a personal note: I don’t know if i should have brought up this conversation at all…I don’t know if i have now jinxed the situation and that by having ideas about this in my mind, with the self fulfilling prophecy, this potential relationship will end in disaster….have i screwed things up?
This is where I vent and express how I feel. + cool stuff I find.
